User talk:Marcelo B. Barata Ribeiro

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Revision as of 18:42, 9 September 2008 by imported>Catherine Woodgold (→‎Michael of Russia: new section)
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Welcome to the Citizendium! We hope you will contribute boldly and well. Here are pointers for a quick start. You'll probably want to know how to get started as an author. Just look at CZ:Getting Started for other helpful "startup" links, and CZ:Home for the top menu of community pages. Be sure to stay abreast of events via the Citizendium-L (broadcast) mailing list (do join!) and the blog. Please also join the workgroup mailing list(s) that concern your particular interests. You can test out editing in the sandbox if you'd like. If you need help to get going, the forums is one option. That's also where we discuss policy and proposals. You can ask any constable for help, too. Me, for instance! Just put a note on their "talk" page. Again, welcome and have fun! D. Matt Innis 20:54, 15 August 2008 (CDT)

Hello, Marcelo. Here are some suggested changes for your user page. Your English is very good. Some of these suggestions are to correct errors; some are to change a correct sentence to one that I think sounds better, but it could be a matter of opinion. I'm not sure whether you would want me editing your user page, so I'm just listing the suggestions here.

  1. The first sentence is correct and it's fine to leave it like that. I find the word "nowadays" just a tiny bit informal, though, and would change it to "I was born in 1985 in Rio de Janeiro, and still live there" (if you didn't move away and come back), or "I was born in 1985 in Rio de Janeiro, and am living there now".
  2. PUC-RJ: I would spell this out or wikilink it. For example, "PUC-RJ". That way people can find the name if they hover their mouse over it, and later if there's an article on it they can go there.
  3. "September/2005": I would use a space instead of a slash.
  4. PET: Again, I suggest giving the full name of the group.
  5. "a research group of students with the tutoring of teachers." This is not wrong but sounds a little ambiguous. How about "a group of students doing research under the supervision of teachers" (if that's what it was).
  6. "In 2007 I worked on an enterprise of valuation and management consulting," If by "enterprise" you mean a company, I suggest "In 2007 I worked for an enterprise engaged in valuation and management consulting".
  7. "Now I am studying for some exams to complete a master’s degree in the field of International Relations." (if you mean that the exams you're studying for now are the last exams to get your degree.)
  8. "The other main fields in which I am interested in contributing here are History and Education."
  9. "I like music, cinema, travel: well, a lot of things, but probably I am going to be a reader instead of a writer on these themes."
  10. "but got exhausted" is fine, but I think "but became exhausted" is a little better (less informal).
  11. Make it "long run" with no hyphen here. If it were used as an adjective it might have a hyphen.
  12. "I believe that Citizendium has a much healthier environment than Wikipedia and a great potential to grow, and it could even reach the forefront of free online encyclopaedias." (I inserted "and" and a comma after "grow" and changed "get" to "reach").
  13. At the end, you're doing something I often find myself doing: enclosing more than a full sentence in parentheses and including the whole thing within another sentence. I suggest putting a period after "encyclopaedias" and a capital "i" on "in", and putting the final period after "please" inside the parentheses, although if that makes it sound less funny I think you can leave it as it is. (You see, D.Matt? I'm not always a stickler. One has to have priorities. Humour ...) I laughed out loud at that third link, even though I've seen it before. :-)

I hope this is helpful and I hope you don't find the number of changes discouraging. Generally your biography is written very well. Feel free to send me a message if you would like me to check anything else you write; you can also email me if you like, since I might not read my messages here very often. Catherine Woodgold 16:19, 16 August 2008 (CDT)

Greetings!

Hi Marcelo, and welcome to the Write a Thon! Your lovely article on the bossa nova inspired me to write about Ella Fitzgerald. Well done! Aleta Curry 17:49, 3 September 2008 (CDT)

Michael of Russia

I made some minor changes in wording at Michael of Russia. Please check whether I've changed the meaning when I shouldn't. Catherine Woodgold 19:42, 9 September 2008 (CDT)